The Tube

what they do is
strip you
down
to your boxers...
put you in a gown
and lay you down

you wait for the
doctor
to arrive

and then
they proceed...

a plastic block
with a two inch hole
in the middle
is put into your
mouth

a needle is
inserted
into your arm and
fills you up
with a sedative that
is supposed to
make you mellow
and calm
...almost sleepy

they pull out a tube...
very long
and probably a inch and a half
thick

there is a tiny camera
placed on the
front of the tube

"what we are going to do
is
put the device
into
your mouth

it will go down your throat
and we will take pictures
of your liver
and pancreas

you can watch it on
the computer screen
above you"

The doctor
takes the tube and asks
if you are ready

you shrug your shoulders

he begins

you can feel it
you can feel it bad
you feel like
Linda Lovelace
but you aint
getting paid for this

you are paying for this

you try not to gag

you keep your eyes
open

watching the screen and
are unable to
make anything out

it takes about twenty
minutes

they reel the tube
out and you are then
wheeled to a room
to recover

you lay there
wondering how
this could have happened to you

how the twenty something
years of straight beer drinking
could have brought you
to this point in
life!

your woman shows up
concerned

she asks how it went
but there are really no words
for it
so you sit there in silence
as you wait for the doctor
to show up
with the results


he arrives with papers
in his hand
and goes over his report

no sign of tumors
this is good news he says
but
I am afraid that you
do have
chronic pancreatitis
you ask the question that
is first on your mind

can I drink again?

with dry mouth you watch him
open his mouth
to answer

"if you want to live
you should quit drinking

quit smoking and
eat better"

he shakes your hand
and wishes you luck

your girl leaves as
you get dressed
and goes to get the car

they push you out
in a wheelchair

you get in the car
and light a smoke

you have a hour drive
back home

you sit in silence
and watch the trees
and empty fields go
by

and wonder

wonder what it will be
like to
sit in front of the
computer without
a beer to your side

to watch a ballgame sober

to fall asleep without
the aid of booze

how the hell
you ask yourself

your lady looks at you
and says
"you are blessed...
you are getting a second chance at life
but
I wonder...
what are you going to do?"

You throw the cigarette out
the window..
roll it back up and stare straight ahead

and you say the word that
you never thought you
would say

"quit"